Talking war with T rex

Me: Yo T rex team Russia or team Ukraine.

T rex: You ask a lot of stupid questions but this one, gosh. You aim your ice cream cone for your mouth and hit your eye a lot, don’t you.

Me: Well are you on the side of justice or the side of non justice.

T rex: War is about power not justice. I just hope the monsters lose.

Me: You could personally pass for a monster.

T rex: ...

Me: I invented a new kind of rainbow.

T rex: ...

Me: Wanna see?

T rex: No.


Talking posts with T rex

Me: Yo T rex how frequently do you post

T rex: On the computer?

Me: No, on the internet

T rex: Nobody likes a pedant

Me: Nobody likes a scold

T rex: Sorry

Me: What if we let go of the past and dance together into the future?

T rex: Yes, my friend. Yes

Me: OK.

T rex: I'm glad we're friends through all this.

Me: Me too, let's dance

T rex: Yeah it's dance time


T rex:

Me: À la main left

T rex:


T rex: hm


Talking wordle with T rex

T rex and LadyofHats, CC BY 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Me: Yo T rex what’s your start word on wordle.

T rex: BITER.

Me: Wow, basic. That’s like being a lawyer and having plates on your BMW that say ATRNY.

T rex: It has two great vowels and two great consonants and it begins with a leap of faith. It would be a beautiful, wise, artful first word even if I had no teeth and a weak jaw.

Me: Come on that is basic as hell.

T rex: It serves me well. I got KNOLL on my second guess when BITER got zero greenyellows.

Me: It took me five guesses.

T rex: Well knoll was tough.

Me: Still.

T rex: What was your first guess.

Me: ...

T rex: ...

Me: ...

T rex: It was penis wasn’t it.

Me: ...

T rex: I would help you with that, but.

Me: ...

T rex: You know.


Talking VHS static with T rex

T rex
Durbed, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Me: Yo T rex ever noticed that the static in a paused VHS image never pauses?

T rex: Well how could you not. It thrums and flickers unrelentingly. It moves when it shouldn’t.

Me: What makes it move? The tape is stopped.

T rex: It’s stopped spooling and unspooling, true. But the playback head keeps rotating, touching a thin sliver of the tape, picking up both a fraction of a frame and the ambient energy of nearby spirits.

Me: Spirits or demons.

T rex: Depends how good you are at making friends with spirits.

Me: Can you hear them talking to you through the static?

T rex: If you’re asking, that’s a sign you hear them and you want reassurance. I have none. If they speak to you through the VHS static, and if you listen, the choice is yours. Do as they ask or don’t. Perform the rituals they command or don’t. Collect the stones and feathers and fruit and bones they ask you to or don’t. Sharpen the knife they ask you to or don’t. Make the incision they request or don’t.

Me: Thank you for your honesty. Hard truths can be hard to hear.

T rex: Drink the juice of the wound or don’t.

Me: How about we put the movie back on.

T rex: Dab the juice of the wound on your cheeks and chest and belly or don’t.

Me: Movie?

T rex: OK.

Me: Can you push play?

T rex: ...

Me: ...

T rex: Some times I don’t want to be your friend any more.


Talking smart quotes with T rex

T rex
DataBase Center for Life Science (DBCLS), CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Me: Yo T rex do you prefer "straight" quotes or “smart”

T rex: Smart always beats straight, darling

Me: Is that a bit

T rex: Duh

Me: You’re good at bits

T rex: Duh

Me: Saucy!

T rex: At some point you will have to move on from telling me I'm great and say something interesting

Me: Wait the apostrophe in your “I’m” is straight not smart

T rex: ...

Me: Do you even know how to type a smart apostrophe? All you do is hold left shift and left control and right alt

T rex: ...

Me: ...

T rex: Thought so


Talking kindness with T rex

Me: Yo T rex what does kindness cost?

T rex: Nothing, my friend. Kindness is free, and moreover kindness brings bountiful rewards. It’s like a magic penny. Lend it or spend it and you’ll have so many, they’ll roll all over the floor.

Me: You might be thinking of love. Love is like a magic penny. We’re talking about kindness.

T rex: What kindness is greater than love?

Me: Encouragement, maybe. Saying well done and I believe in you and you got this.

T rex: That really is the greatest love of all.

Me: No that’s learning to love yourself.

T rex: Talkin bout love. Love removal. Love removal machine.

Me: That was very good. Well done. You sounded just like the guy from the band.

T rex: Gosh, thank you.

Me: High five!

T rex: ...

Me: ...

T rex: Really?